Forgiveness, to forgive, to pardon, what does it mean?
That I don't think about it anymore? That something becomes less important? That it doesn't hurt anymore? That I give up my own perception and adopt yours?
I've met very few people who want to hurt and let down on purpose. Who deliberately wanted to make somebody suffer. It exits, I recognize that, but it's so rare. When we hurt each other, it is so much more likely, that in the moment, we no longer share the same perception. We look differently at the same situation. Which happens all the time, only this time some one is hurt. And from that very moment where I'm hurt it's up to me and only me to let go of it again. If somebody kills me it's my responsibility to raise from the dead. If I'm raped it's up to me to recapture my body. The rapist can not give it back to me. Believing he could is the same as giving up myself as an individual with a will of my own.
It just seems so ufair that no matter what you do to me it's all up to me to live with it.
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